Wednesday, December 13, 2006a straight sunny day.after posted here in the morning i went to renew my borrowed pc magzines.i boroowed a copy of pc magzine and 2 econoic management magzines.then i went to see my baby.on the way near the kfc store i bought him 2 fried chiken legs,for i want to present him a surprise.they costed me 15 yuan.my baby in the arms of the kid sister who is watching cop soup.my baby started to eat the chicken happily.but he didn't eat much,for he and me all suffered thirsty after shitting waterily.today i shitted 6 or 7 times waterily.i ate less but felt thirsty constantly.my baby's mother refuted my suggetion to shot outside,blaming the snow was cleaned.she suggested shot indoor but i didn't act upon and just played with our baby together in bedroom while the kid sister (her aunt)cleaning dishes in waiting room.i felt the kid sister at a loss in her attempt to build a closer intimacy with my baby than mine,so i suggested my leaving and my wife admitted.my baby asked me to hold him to the corridor but his mother urgent to leave so she let him played with the doorring and let me leave. after returned to the dorm i read awhile magzine then dozed on bed.till 4 pm i woke up in the dark.i farted a lot in the mid.being sick now distracted me from ill wills around which had troubled me so much so far.i know god putting us into a new training course now and i look forward to it. the snow was the thickest among the 3 snows in this winter,even so,workers let it clueless on the road and obvious open space.so i admire now the heavily snow recently haunted the western america,via tv reports i seeing its beauty and mighty. bye.i love u.in this cool early winter.kiss u with snow white.Posted by benzrad at 2:31 AM 0 comments a straight sunny day.after posted here in the morning i went to renew my borrowed pc magzines.i boroowed a copy of pc magzine and 2 econoic management magzines.then i went to see my baby.on the way near the kfc store i bought him 2 fried chiken legs,for i want to present him a surprise.they costed me 15 yuan.my baby in the arms of the kid sister who is watching cop soup.my baby started to eat the chicken happily.but he didn't eat much,for he and me all suffered thirsty after shitting waterily.today i shitted 6 or 7 times waterily.i ate less but felt thirsty constantly.my baby's mother refuted my suggetion to shot outside,blaming the snow was cleaned.she suggested shot indoor but i didn't act upon and just played with our baby together in bedroom while the kid sister (her aunt)cleaning dishes in waiting room.i felt the kid sister at a loss in her attempt to build a closer intimacy with my baby than mine,so i suggested my leaving and my wife admitted.my baby asked me to hold him to the corridor but his mother urgent to leave so she let him played with the doorring and let me leave. after returned to the dorm i read awhile magzine then dozed on bed.till 4 pm i woke up in the dark.i farted a lot in the mid.being sick now distracted me from ill wills around which had troubled me so much so far.i know god putting us into a new training course now and i look forward to it. the snow was the thickest among the 3 snows in this winter,even so,workers let it clueless on the road and obvious open space.so i admire now the heavily snow recently haunted the western america,via tv reports i seeing its beauty and mighty. bye.i love u.in this cool early winter.kiss u with snow white.Posted by benzrad at 2:17 AM 0 comments Tuesday, December 12, 2006white morning after snowits just to auspicious,so propitious.after uncovered the curtain i was totally in a bewildering joy.god presents his favor to my asked.i woke up early and turned on radio on 7:13 am.i got up at 7:29 am.last night i waited in wondering after 0:07 am.i first time in near 3 months to have a fresh breakfast in the canteen.then i shitted,partly waterily.then i stamped all my food steps on the snow on the volleyball yard till full covered it.i will likely go to see my baby at noon.last night when i parted with my baby i felt sorry and said to him i couldn't see him tomorrow and he asked him to held him into the corridor and played ball with lots of laughs in his mother's arms.now god accomplished me by letting me surprised by another chance to be with my baby.in fact,hard time in animosity let us more banded.i love him so much.no matter how his mother's relatives envious on it,nothing can distract my love and holiness onto him. last night i spent 2.5 yuan here.a dog near me likely a cop,hacked me heavily before i ready to finish my work.it again let the ie responded very slowly and let some bottom of pages ill working and links redirected.i just doubting how they can delayed my pages requests so long and delayed the arriving pages tentatively.i guess that's all what they can do now,to mess up,to shit around. bye.i love u.kiss u with this holy bright white.love u in chill.Posted by benzrad at 5:03 PM 0 comments withering sunshinelast night i read in the dorm till 0:13 am.dog around bited furiously.i lost sleep all the night.i had pills and urined as usual,but just after i settled on bed i had need to urine.i guessed that's not real and i thought i'd better endured it for my baby.so i sleeplessly.in late night the neighbor hooligans still made cracks with their chair or something,likely stayed there sleeplessly.in the process i saw the plot of dog to weave a web to trap me into the asylum and there they took full control of my life,from eating to sleeping to medicine to communication,in which they can plot and execute evil onto me without obvious obstacles.their aim was to whitewashed my mind and my name from the world.but they just unable to do as they liked.i got up at 7:13 am and went to see my baby at once.my baby vomitted in the mid night and let his mother restlessly these days.when i arrived he was held by the kid sister feeding while watching tv.my baby was motionless to me.so i went to the room wondering if i can do some works first on pc.but my baby asked for my caress and let the kid sister at a loss.the full day my baby didn't leave my caress.he just loathed to walk or play with his own.he shitted 4 times with watery shits.he suffering.his mother let us not to receive her at noon.so we stayed at home in the morning.at noon the kid sister of his mother arrived.i disliked her for her behavior since i engaged with her elder sister.she seldom ate at home while her financial position was shabby.i mean,she likely frequently accompany some rich men to eat outside,at least those can afford her a treat.her last visit,dated the day before yesterday,brought some grapes with which i tasted some and likely so did my baby.and i shitted waterily last night,too.in my view she just too wicked,like her mother's family.the afternoon she slept in the quilt in the room for my baby and now occupied by the kid sister of my baby's mother's mother,watching movies on her elder sister's notebook.later the kid sister of her mother also slept on the same bed.i had to admit she was not nobody,she let me felt in the hell for unconfortable and sleepy.my baby played with tapwater and cooking utensil and grid frame of window and torch,but he also finally felt boring and slept.i slept aside my baby.my baby woked up 2 times with cries.after finally got up i still felt faint and lack of energy.my baby also loathed to play on his own.after 5 pm the kid sister left.after another an hour i held my baby to receive his mother,against her warn.my baby directed me visited a grocer shop along the road where we haunted a lot in summer but seldom recently.we chatted with the boss couples.my baby asked me to buy him a little bag of dry beef and we entered the school for a lot of persons likely students' parents entered by their bikes.a cop card ported outside the door,it my second time seeing it ported there.my baby got energetic and talkative in his mother's arms.it really let me happier. dog likely weaving its web to trap me into prison or asylum,same place to let me disappear.i had not worry or hindersight.my sleep can be ruined without routine pill which now in my open drawer in the dorm free to replace,but i had long time waited for god not to let me live with it and its in fact the cause of my second falling into asylum for not taking pills for i think its unnature.maybe i lived with less time to sleep,like Nash,the famous physisist survived mental disease without taking pills. tonight,no matter how distorted by the unnamed unease,or just can't sleep,i live in god's sight and ready for god's call.that's absoluteness. bye.i love u.kiss u with bear.i hope i deserve a snow tonight.kiss u with baring. a old shot uploaded.Posted by benzrad at 5:27 AM 0 comments withering sunshinelast night i read in the dorm till 0:13 am.dog around bited furiously.i lost sleep all the night.i had pills and urined as usual,but just after i settled on bed i had need to urine.i guessed that's not real and i thought i'd better endured it for my baby.so i sleeplessly.in late night the neighbor hooligans still made cracks with their chair or something,likely stayed there sleeplessly.in the process i saw the plot of dog to weave a web to trap me into the asylum and there they took full control of my life,from eating to sleeping to medicine to communication,in which they can plot and execute evil onto me without obvious obstacles.their aim was to whitewashed my mind and my name from the world.but they just unable to do as they liked.i got up at 7:13 am and went to see my baby at once.my baby vomitted in the mid night and let his mother restlessly these days.when i arrived he was held by the kid sister feeding while watching tv.my baby was motionless to me.so i went to the room wondering if i can do some works first on pc.but my baby asked for my caress and let the kid sister at a loss.the full day my baby didn't leave my caress.he just loathed to walk or play with his own.he shitted 4 times with watery shits.he suffering.his mother let us not to receive her at noon.so we stayed at home in the morning.at noon the kid sister of his mother arrived.i disliked her for her behavior since i engaged with her elder sister.she seldom ate at home while her financial position was shabby.i mean,she likely frequently accompany some rich men to eat outside,at least those can afford her a treat.her last visit,dated the day before yesterday,brought some grapes with which i tasted some and likely so did my baby.and i shitted waterily last night,too.in my view she just too wicked,like her mother's family.the afternoon she slept in the quilt in the room for my baby and now occupied by the kid sister of my baby's mother's mother,watching movies on her elder sister's notebook.later the kid sister of her mother also slept on the same bed.i had to admit she was not nobody,she let me felt in the hell for unconfortable and sleepy.my baby played with tapwater and cooking utensil and grid frame of window and torch,but he also finally felt boring and slept.i slept aside my baby.my baby woked up 2 times with cries.after finally got up i still felt faint and lack of energy.my baby also loathed to play on his own.after 5 pm the kid sister left.after another an hour i held my baby to receive his mother,against her warn.my baby directed me visited a grocer shop along the road where we haunted a lot in summer but seldom recently.we chatted with the boss couples.my baby asked me to buy him a little bag of dry beef and we entered the school for a lot of persons likely students' parents entered by their bikes.a cop card ported outside the door,it my second time seeing it ported there.my baby got energetic and talkative in his mother's arms.it really let me happier. dog likely weaving its web to trap me into prison or asylum,same place to let me disappear.i had not worry or hindersight.my sleep can be ruined without routine pill which now in my open drawer in the dorm free to replace,but i had long time waited for god not to let me live with it and its in fact the cause of my second falling into asylum for not taking pills for i think its unnature.maybe i lived with less time to sleep,like Nash,the famous physisist survived mental disease without taking pills. tonight,no matter how distorted by the unnamed unease,or just can't sleep,i live in god's sight and ready for god's call.that's absoluteness. bye.i love u.kiss u with bear.i hope i deserve a snow tonight.kiss u with baring. a old shot uploadedPosted by benzrad at 5:23 AM 0 comments withering sunshinelast night i read in the dorm till 0:13 am.dog around bited furiously.i lost sleep all the night.i had pills and urined as usual,but just after i settled on bed i had need to urine.i guessed that's not real and i thought i'd better endured it for my baby.so i sleeplessly.in late night the neighbor hooligans still made cracks with their chair or something,likely stayed there sleeplessly.in the process i saw the plot of dog to weave a web to trap me into the asylum and there they took full control of my life,from eating to sleeping to medicine to communication,in which they can plot and execute evil onto me without obvious obstacles.their aim was to whitewashed my mind and my name from the world.but they just unable to do as they liked.i got up at 7:13 am and went to see my baby at once.my baby vomitted in the mid night and let his mother restlessly these days.when i arrived he was held by the kid sister feeding while watching tv.my baby was motionless to me.so i went to the room wondering if i can do some works first on pc.but my baby asked for my caress and let the kid sister at a loss.the full day my baby didn't leave my caress.he just loathed to walk or play with his own.he shitted 4 times with watery shits.he suffering.his mother let us not to receive her at noon.so we stayed at home in the morning.at noon the kid sister of his mother arrived.i disliked her for her behavior since i engaged with her elder sister.she seldom ate at home while her financial position was shabby.i mean,she likely frequently accompany some rich men to eat outside,at least those can afford her a treat.her last visit,dated the day before yesterday,brought some grapes with which i tasted some and likely so did my baby.and i shitted waterily last night,too.in my view she just too wicked,like her mother's family.the afternoon she slept in the quilt in the room for my baby and now occupied by the kid sister of my baby's mother's mother,watching movies on her elder sister's notebook.later the kid sister of her mother also slept on the same bed.i had to admit she was not nobody,she let me felt in the hell for unconfortable and sleepy.my baby played with tapwater and cooking utensil and grid frame of window and torch,but he also finally felt boring and slept.i slept aside my baby.my baby woked up 2 times with cries.after finally got up i still felt faint and lack of energy.my baby also loathed to play on his own.after 5 pm the kid sister left.after another an hour i held my baby to receive his mother,against her warn.my baby directed me visited a grocer shop along the road where we haunted a lot in summer but seldom recently.we chatted with the boss couples.my baby asked me to buy him a little bag of dry beef and we entered the school for a lot of persons likely students' parents entered by their bikes.a cop card ported outside the door,it my second time seeing it ported there.my baby got energetic and talkative in his mother's arms.it really let me happier. dog likely weaving its web to trap me into prison or asylum,same place to let me disappear.i had not worry or hindersight.my sleep can be ruined without routine pill which now in my open drawer in the dorm free to replace,but i had long time waited for god not to let me live with it and its in fact the cause of my second falling into asylum for not taking pills for i think its unnature.maybe i lived with less time to sleep,like Nash,the famous physisist survived mental disease without taking pills. tonight,no matter how distorted by the unnamed unease,or just can't sleep,i live in god's sight and ready for god's call.that's absoluteness. bye.i love u.kiss u with bear.i hope i deserve a snow tonight.kiss u with baring. a old shot uploaded. <object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/q1I7YqwPJX0"></param><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/q1I7YqwPJX0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="600" height="350"></embed></object>Posted by benzrad at 4:59 AM 0 comments Monday, December 11, 2006sunny afternoonin the afternoon i spent 3 yuan and 3 hours to modify my googlepage at https://benzillar.goolgepages.com to let it show my blog update with date but failed.dog's hack and maybe busy internet traffic (less likely) let the surfing a torment.and dog biting nearby.i felt more or less upset when i left.i didn't expected so costly.then i went to renew my borrowed pc magzines.new issues arrived and i tried to borrow 2 copies.i read newspaper in the newpaper room of qrrs.people of taiwan surely didn't echo mainland's media's distorted reports,and they chose to support localized party.no one favors the outdated dictator system of mainland of prc.when i returned to the dorm its near dark.i read a pc mag till dinner time passed.dog bited heavily in the dorm.in the canteen i was offered meat and full filled.here i registered my family members to https://clipmarks.com to enjoy its bookmarks and clips sharing service.my account at https://clipmarks.com/clipper/benzillar .i need more time to full explore it. bye.i love u.kiss u with bear. home movie of my baby in his first winter. Get this video and more at MySpace.comPosted by benzrad at 3:17 AM 0 comments Sunday, December 10, 2006bright sun,clear cloud in pale blue skylast night i read my blog on my pda till 1:03 am.dog bited heavily before i went to bed.in the morning i dreamed riding a double seat bike with my wife and watching a teacher painting on blackboard to pormote a lecture will be offered by a chinese study 'master'.i woke up at 9:50 am and got up at 10:39 am.dog started to bite before i woke up and it forced me to rest in silence after i got up and sat on bed motionlessly.in the canteen there r quite some girls i don't know where they r from.a cop in uniform picked to sit aside me and drank a bottle of soft drink and left. in the cafe farer than starsea cafe,i powered 3 pcs but all hardware failed after i login the cafe's register interface.dog recently likely bargained with me.i can't access https of gmail but http of gmail workable and i can compose email in it even err-proned.www.google.com can't access directly from input in url,but accessible from ur login gmail service.my personal homepage of google was blocked for 2 days.logout of google's quite some service lost response,likely cut off by dog or stealing cookies from login pc.torpark on my writeproof udisk also set to fail,and proxies i tried some were set to fail.dog still felt they r charging all and allowed to work around within their broken dog machine. bye.its not a bad day even sunshine sometimes white washed by unclear cloud around the sun.i hope i can hear u around the new year.i love u.kiss u with bright.Posted by benzrad at 8:30 PM 0 comments sunny daylast night i read till 1:13 am.dog in the cafe farer than starsea let me dogtired after returned to the dorm.i even felt dozy after read awhile 'thinking on the web' but gradually i became agile and stayed lately.in the dawn i dreamed i walked in my hometown and passed by a woman carrying shits as futilizer and was stained by shits and felt anger.then i went to a countryfolk's home whose husband was a cardre of ccp to ask for the skate the wife promised to my baby free of charge.but the wife sneered at us and i got blank hands.on the way to see my baby,i felt gloomy.after i arrived my baby in the arms of the kid sister of his mother's mother.she avoided me when my baby asked for my caress.the grandmom busy in the lavatory.soon i started restored old picture of my baby from our backup cds and moved to my udisk intending to shift to google web albums.my baby asked for my cares.i let him drink milk against the kid sister's warn that he suffer watery shit.the liu left in the dawn for his hometown to find himself wife,i heard this later by the kid son of the sister.my felt sleepy but can't fall into sleep so he coutched on my head and was induced to vomit.he vomitted several times.the grandmom fetched a towl to map the floor and let me aside while my head full of dirty. after my baby's mother returned i started again to the unfinished work to move my baby's shot onto udisk.we couples later to have lunch.on the table i introduced my work last night lately to add all my family members' google web album into each favorite.i also designed a logo for my google group in memory of my hometown at hubei prov.,centual china,at noon there at https://groups-beta.google.com/group/zhudajiu .the logo at https://zhudajiu.googlegroups.com/web/zhudajiulogoani.gif .welcome ur comments.i also changed her google groups' icons.she admitted my works.the sister listened aside.the kid son of the kid sister also there.after i finished my shower in the public bathroom i cared my baby to play while the sisters left to shower.soon the kid sister of my baby's mother arrived.my baby now open to show his kindness to newcomers and he leaned onto the kid sister and the kid son for sometimes,let all of us glad.his mother went out to buy some dishes and we,all young persons,ate our dinner.the atmosphere gradually turned unfavorable and the kid sister of my baby's mother locked herself sleeping on our bedroom.the kid son and a little boy of my baby's mother's colleague's son,just arrived there to be tutored,both slept on the floor while i sang loudly with my baby on my shoulders.my baby later turned boring.i know energies got conflict.so i soon left.my baby waved to me.the sisters of my baby's mother yet didn't returned from bathroom. that's our happy day today.i still felt laughable on the way home,reviewing 3 laid themselves down around us.my spirit was considerablely promoted comparing that when i left the dorm. bye.i love u.like morning star and sunset.kiss u with quice.baby in his first winterwarren in-fantbtw,last post there is a line 'for the reception girl at starsea dispised me by the excuse of no charges,i haunted a farer cafe and was told its fee lowered to 1 yuan an hour again.'here 'charges' should be 'changes'.Posted by benzrad at 4:18 AM 0 comments my baby son in his infantilewhen he was in his 6 month on the earthPosted by benzrad at 3:14 AM 0 comments Saturday, December 09, 2006sunny afternoonafter posted in starsea cafe i meandered in the sunshine for about half of an hour.the air is warm.after returned to the dorm i read awhile 'thinking on the web' then dozed.the family of my baby's mother's mother,likely had a prone of strong feminism,exposed its intention in my mind.dog let me felt cold and my radio finally turned it off automatively.after getting up i went to make water and the room facing the lavatory leaks out blow of laughs,including girls'.i knew some of them felt lonely and boring even in crowd and gathering.i review my solitude in which i missed u solely,i tasted joy and pure and saint and plenty.love in its simplest form is just losing urself in ur admire to ur beloved.i love u and pray for u,for our bright future.the radio was elaborating on fable when i secondly turned it on,and then on narcism,but nothing can distract my faith in god,in my parents,in my son.i took u as my partner,with sometimes mindless ignorance or leting ur being,i took u as my own,with pride and criticism,with boring and with immersed,just as the bible claimed,u r from my body and shaped by the creator to accomplish me.i don't bother to attend u every minute,but we r always one together anytime any place.in every smile between us we r assurrenced; in every word outspoken we echo soul's harmony from heaven.god let his road spiteful and as a compensation he let u accompany me,like fountain in desert,and like lamb in bushes. for the reception girl at starsea dispised me by the excuse of no charges,i haunted a farer cafe and was told its fee lowered to 1 yuan an hour again.last time the cafes increased their charges absurd in compliance with cop's demand.what's business with cop with cafe's service in market place?but in china they do charged every things,every price.that's china's promise in wto. bye.i love u.i first time since cafe's increased charge surfed more than an hour tonight.i hope i can enjoy web more freely.kiss u with bright and blight.Posted by benzrad at 2:48 AM 0 comments Friday, December 08, 2006sunny morning,turns even thick at nooni woke up at 9:50 am and got up at 11:20 am.last night i read 'thinking on the web' till its 1:39 am.dog got repentting after fighted a war near around 0 am when i usually went to sleep at that time,to urge me rest.some of them were hard core gays,some of them wanted to finish their task to monitor me,some of them were tomb sleeper and demanded seeing all living slept when they can dance with evil in the dark after.i slept sound but being attacted after woke up.i stayed in bed wondering,my baby 1 or 2 times cried in my ears but that's his way to defend.the liu,in his early 30s' or late 20s' ,slept with his mother on the same bed in different quilts.he born with falling sickness but that can't be his mother's cause to sleep with her mature son.they constantly challenge us,likes the lius in nowaday china challenge people of china,and that's their due to walk out their track of failure to testfy god's choice.god's glory manifests itself through the rebellion of sins,through the doomed of those refuse conversion,the doomed of those refuse the truth. bye.i love u.kiss u with bright.Posted by benzrad at 8:29 PM 0 comments sunny daylast night i read 'thinking on the web' till 0:17 am.dog's biting lately but under holy spirit i forgave and smoothly fell into sleep.i got up 10:29 am and went to see my baby at once.when i arrived my baby was sobbing and i was told he pointed to the clock when i due to appear to the kid sister of his mother's mother and when the sister said to him his dad he started to cry and demand open the door.how i was touched.soon we went to receive his mother.i bought him an icecream and a bag of soft candy.at noon he was settled to sleep by his mother and i stayed wandering in the bedroom where he slept.after he woke up i held him playing tapwater and teeth stick.the sister and her son slept in the room for my son lately after 3 pm .when my baby cried for i not to let him play with the grid frame of window,with which he played for some time and attempting to lock it on his own the mother got up and see.we had some unease time to concentrate to play while they locked the room sleeping or pretend to sleep.the liu then ate his lunch lately and his mother let him feed my baby with some rice and my baby received it.then they watched tv and later the mother started to cook.we waited and waited for the time to went out.his mother due to have her night class and will leave her school after 6:30 pm.when its time to leave the mother insisted feeding my baby with rice and pumpkin and i sensed her feeling of lose to seeing i cared my baby well and enough and testing me if i can afford her leaving.my baby let me wait to eat her feeding,but she threat my baby to eat frequently and my baby finally didn't eat the last mouth she and me suggested.the school open its door and we entered.his mother left lately till we arrived half way to the teaching building.my baby insisted walking on the dusty track of the sport yard.after dinner his mother watched tv even my baby wanted to play.he finally sent to sleep by his mother and i left. its a nice day again for me and my baby.hope u enjoy ur everyday. bye.i love u.kiss u with cool. btw,last post there is a line reads 'since yesterday the idea haunted me its time to testify if god chooses from his creators or infinite turns around,suffers to exalt and wellbeings to fell.technologically operating on some human species not a problem,but the ethic of human kinship troubled god's chosen so much so far.'here 'creators' should be 'creatures'.then dog attacted me aside and let me didn't check online dictioanry.the online dictioanry was responded slowly by dog's hacking.Posted by benzrad at 5:17 AM 0 comments Thursday, December 07, 2006sunny afternoon.after lunch i rest on bed.bitings around let me dozing.after woke up i meandered awhile in the tree yard for about a quarter,after the shadow of the tree casted on the rim of the flower garden.then i went to renew my pc magzines.after fetched 2 copies i read newspaper in the newspaper room of qrrs.when i sat there i was alone in the sunshine facing the window.soon dogs arrived and one of them,a middle aged,kept facing me and challenged me.i read 'world reference digest'(cankaoxiaoxi) and read quite reports on illegal children labor and migrates in abnormally dengerous labor situations risked and resulted into body hurts.and america suffering too much responsibility to correct the world in distort.bushes suffering shortsighted demand of profits from us' operation on world.since yesterday the idea haunted me its time to testify if god chooses from his creators or infinite turns around,suffers to exalt and wellbeings to fell.mankind sees quite some fates of animals and now its turn to see that of quite some tribe of human.technologically operating on some human species not a problem,but the ethic of human kinship troubled god's chosen so much so far.nearer and nearer people will be confronted with the way of god's,the way to choose and extinguished the bitchery,the evil. www.google.com was blocked for 3 days.gfan of goolgegroup was banned for access.that's china,a place rebut thinking while the web of the world innovating everyday.the place being shitted all around,the place gays and tomb sleeper rampant and attact in daytime. bye.i love u , like steering star in deepest black sky. kiss u with tear and bear,pity and cleanse.Posted by benzrad at 2:02 AM 0 comments Wednesday, December 06, 2006brightest sunshine in early winterso i got god's promission in double: the snow and the sun.the snow was neatily cleaned by workers and letting me doubting if they r remnant of previous snow,but the pour white scattered everywhere proved it faultlessly.the sun was tiny round and demands more time before u can see clear its burning round.i got up at 10:10 am and being bited at once.last night i read the ebook 'thinking on the web' from www.33367.com after 0:15 am.demons in neighbor rooms and in the tv room near my room stayed there. in the dawn i dreamed i was told to care my baby or the baby of my third elder sister.but i was told my alumni gathering held in a place.i busy with something,like practising handwriting or other,and when i held the baby left to attend the gathering its raining.then i found the gathering just in the room on the higher floor of the same building of our home and i returned the left the baby at home and left.but i likely didn't find the gathering but found my wife or my third elder sister at home complaining i ditched the baby and let him cried into chill and soundless.my heart was broken by sorrow and i kneeled down aside the cradle to kiss him.but he was well after all.i was startled almost as his encountering with silence and without cares.no matter how i sometimes absent from my beloved,god assures us with the brilliant sun on time.that's our being blessed.our pledge in one. bye.i love u.like sunshine and snow white.kiss u with tear.Posted by benzrad at 6:53 PM 0 comments thin sunshine morning, gloomy afternoonlast night i got about 200mb ebooks from www.33367.com,let me really in wilder.even downloading speedy my google service and blogs pages responded slowly.in the dorm after returned i read awhile my blog on my pda then worry about my baby and i buzzed my baby's mother,she refuted my suggestion to visit my baby in the night.then i read the 3 pc magzines to 0:47 am.neighbor hooligans got irritated and bited heavily.they likely totally got mad and evil.after going to bed,my beloved blond within myspace.com,jamie,haunted my mind for about an hour.however,i slept sound.i got up at 9:24 am then i went to see my baby.when i arrived there my baby just stood behind the liu who is busy with his parcel against the wall of waiting room and curious.then he played tapwater in most time of the morning.challenge from the liu and his mother let me sang and recited a lot.i held my baby went out to receive his mother at 11 am.my baby loathe to leave and the liu's mother also tended to retard us.the bike repairer ,who is small man liked a crone always burning ditched tyre to warm his chamber aside the road,let the air smelly and poluting.my baby soon slept on my shoulders,which let quite some persons alarmed me,in good or ill will.his mother left the school early among her colleagues and fetch us.after lunch my baby was milked by his mother and slept.so did his mother.i felt dozed but cold without any quilt.then his mother left for her school and gave me 2 quilts of my baby.each time i felt dozed but agiled again by challenge around.my baby slept for about an hour,and woke up when i just thought about wangbin,my alumni i refered last time in my blog,a guy also from northeast of china.then we started to play.we ate pine nuts.my baby played with tapwater and let the basin full.later a ball candy let him pacified for some time when i just worried about boring will letting him irritated.the mother started to cook toast pie and fed my baby with some.its time to went out but my baby refused to leave.i beated him on his bottom 2 flaps and he cried.when we arrived on the ground we found 3 girls after their class and attending another class in the building conjoined with our building and used as the office of street branch of the municipal gov. .we played with the little girls awhile.then his mother returned and found us.i then busy with back ebooks downloaded last night to my pda and his mother busy with milking him.the liu urged to dinner loudly.he cooked the dishes and cleaned the table and bowls.that let us obliged.the mother and the son then watched tv silently and let us couple distressed for our adopting their labor.the rule of religion let me stadleless and let me lingered more time to wait my decisive spirit.when i left my baby asked to go to the corridor to watch and he watched my leaving.the moon was dim in the dark blue sky.i think it would be blessing if tonight snows. bye.i love u.kiss u with fright of the balance among the created.i love like the serenading moon.Posted by benzrad at 4:21 AM 0 comments Tuesday, December 05, 2006sunny all dayafter posted i roamed in the tree yard of the dorm zone for some time.then i went to qrrs' libray to borrow some mags.then went to read newspaper with the 3 pc magzines i borrowed.there i also read some mags.after returned to dorm i read a mag titled 'computer application digest'(dianniao yingyong wenzai) till dinnr time.i was offered some meats and i ate with pleasure and full fiilled.in the cafe i downloaded some ebooks from a website at https://www.33367.com .i liked it very much.its contents were from 0day,but i was blocked from access to 0day staff for quite some time.o,that's really a pastime long time ago. bye.i love u.kiss u with bright.and with coming snow i love u in deep freeze.Posted by benzrad at 2:24 AM 0 comments Monday, December 04, 2006bright sun,cloudless skyi woke up at 8:21 am and got up at 11:23 am.last night spying eyes trapped me for quite some time and continued even before i woke up.the radio elaborating oil paintings collecting when i just turned it on.that's my pastime when i was young.i love fine art and ready a day i can pick it up again with u,with our children on we had time to breathe freely.i some time ago had quite some collective works gallery of famous impressionists and post impressionists,but i ditched them when i broke my heart with the girl fang(square) when i prepared my master degree entrance exam there in nankai.unv.,yes,i also collected them at tianjin when i studied therre as a collegian.the morning i fighted with spying with new and maybe higher level of skill,the spies likely now stronger and trained.their broken web tried to trap me onto it and smoother me.breath among men always poluted and i sometimes had to breathe other ways.birds of the air sure nearer to god,but i had to learn to launch now on the rock and earth. today is a nice day,with the large and brilliant sun and clear sky.i needn't any more warrent.the air is warm,likely brought chiller snow days coming later.i however enjoy its warmth,now that i can partly enjoy ur body temperature now.i look forward to u,to the wave and wind of ur hairs,the wind and blow of ur sweat breath from ur warm armpit.i love u,like round golden moon in these night sky.i love u like the round cheek of the most lovable baby in the world.i love to kiss u,kiss u red watery lips,ur kitty nosetip,i love u and kiss u now.kiss u with sunflower brilliances ur brilliant cheek and beam. bye.i love u.kiss u.Posted by benzrad at 8:47 PM 0 comments gloomy morning,almost sunny afternoonlast night after posted and roamed in the room i suddently decided to see my baby.i arrived there about 7:30 and left there after 9:08 pm.we couple played with our baby and let him laugh a lot.the liu locked himself in the room for our baby for some time later went to waiting room to watch tv.the sisters watched there silently all time.the eldest always chose cop soup and the night they watch it.i read my blog lately to 0:43 am in the dorm.i got up at 9:42 am this morning and went to see my baby.when i arrived my baby just watching the liu and his mother and the old woman curiously and after i told him he started to play with me.he played tapwater,salt and cooking utensil.we went outside to receive his mother after 11 am.her mother watched us meeting her outside the door but i mindedly didn't speed up my step with my baby sleeping on my shoulders and she really got angered and left us behind while she returned home directly.then my baby woke up when we encountered a crowd near the elemental school aside the middle school.i bought him a toast tomato and he ate some.lunch was consisted of 2 dishs,one is fried fishes.i ate 2 bowl of rice and 2 fishes.at noon the sisters slept on the bed for our baby and my baby and his mother later slept on our bedroom.i sat on the floor enjoyed the model of a house,which is an attachment of a raiway toy of my baby.the liu watched tv aside me in the waiting room.we competed each concentration.after his mother left, my baby again played tapwater for quite some time while the sister chatted in his room.the liu later haunted outside awhile.i sang and recited chinese traditional poems till my baby boring into sleep on my shoulders.he slept about 40 minutes.at this time i peacefully thought the way of god and religion,and more parts likely echoes buddism's but i decided to let it be.then the grandmom arrived.i left my baby her awhile and started trying to shift my blog updates to my pda but soon my baby arrived and played with monitor and the pc.later i turned on speaker and let its tremble to its largest volumn.my baby was shocked for a bit and i held him in my arms to let him familiar with it.for my ears recently losing some part of its hearing,the volumn let the sisters close the door.then my baby' s mother returned.dinner is dumplines which i always disliked.i held awhile after i first intended to leave after dinner.then they ate water melon which is small and its inner meat colors yellow.my baby ate quite some with his mother.i ate 2 or 3 slices later.then i left.the two sons of the kid sister stayed in waiting room when i ate while the sisters entered my baby's room.i didn't lay any comments and left.i kissed my baby heavily. that's our happy day today.i love my baby and the life so much,even i know our future with u would be more splend. bye.i love u.kiss u with the round large golden moon.on the way to the dorm she let me being blessed so much. 2 heading works when i worked in the field of heading design.just a stamp and a memory of pastime, my old heading work for my website. my old heading work for my son's mother's class gathering. btw,posted on Nov. 24 titled 'weak sunny day' there is a line 'the swallowing freak and monster itself can't live in itself peace.its consuming more and more living spirits and living spices in peace.' here 'spices' should be 'species'.Posted by benzrad at 3:46 AM 0 comments Sunday, December 03, 2006sunny afternooni roamed in the garden of the dorm zone for about half and an hour in sunshine.doubting my family,my kingdom,my god.qrrser constantly left from the door behind me.last night i read luke of gospel lately and much refreshed after leaving it aside.after returned to dorm i listened radio music on bed.dog's biting.i dozed after the radio was shut aftter 3 pm.even felt cold i still rested.and in it i knew my baby's mother's family's intension on me and my son.but nothing can left any dent on our free will.the royal of my family irrelavant with nobody but god and it exists for a thousand and a hundred and nine years.that's the rule.the rule from heaven. my baby,this winter especially warm.but no warmth better than ur warmth shadded in my heart and on my body.i look forward to ur red lips and scarlet scarf near around the new year.my family warmly welcome ur return,my long time thirst. bye.i love u.kiss u with snow white.Posted by benzrad at 1:54 AM 0 comments Saturday, December 02, 2006sunny morningi woke up at 8:37 am and got up at 10 am.after posted 2 threads in google group more than half of an hour passed and i now in a rush to write my blog and that hamper my smooth thinking.i know i can stayed here longer but i hesitated about my independence. bye.i had to leave now for my time out.i love u.kiss u with bright.Posted by benzrad at 8:25 PM 0 comments sunny almost all day.i got up at 10:02 am.last night i read bible lately.i read luk.before the night i had finsihed read john.demons left me for quite sometimes when i read.last night near the door of my baby's mother's school,men haunted us likely demons,they let my buttock painful but the pain disappeared after i read.i went to see my baby after i got up.i fetched the remain bag of rice.when i arrived,a young man sat in the room left me doubting if he's my kid brother.then i found the kid sister of my baby's mother's mother.they just arrived before me.the young man was her first son in her first marriage,whose family name is liu.i held my baby playing on the balcony soon.then his mother returned.lunch was fried beef.then i went to shower.my baby's mother left to hand in a form as her homework.in the afternoon the liu babbled a lot with the eldest sister while his mother seldom talked.later the atmospher was thick dirty and i left to surf in the aim to modify my blog in memory of my grand father at https://faezrland.blogspot.com but dog hamper me to open it while i can open my baby's mother's web album. its not bad a day for me and my baby.the old woman praised a lot on my baby,in good and in ill.i left them quietly after kiss my baby in his mother's arms.the newcomers in an close room leting the young son to test his new coat his mother brought him. bye.i love u.kiss u with snow white. Posted by benzrad at 3:14 AM 0 comments